JOKES

An Ibo man was converted to Islam, after all said and done; he was asked what name he would like to bear, he was given options of Ibrahim (Abraham), Suleiman (Solomon), Musa (Moses) and a host of others. He asked what good were the names, then the Imam told him that if he choose any name there will be hope that God will bless him the way he blessed those with the names originally, then the Ibo man asked "how about Dangote?"

A Man lived alone in the countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day, the dog died, and the Man went to the parish pastor and said, "Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a mass for the poor creature?" The Pastor replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the animal; you can go and find out”. Then the Man answered innocently, "I'll go right away Pastor. But do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the burial service?" The Pastor exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Christian...we definitely have services for all Christians!?"

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some Arsenic (poison). What for? He asked. She said "I want to kill my husband." He said, "I'm sorry I cant do that." She then reached into her handbag and pulled out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife and handed it to him. He then said, "You didn’t tell me you had a prescription."

During a wedding ceremony, it got to the period to unite the couple. PASTOR: "If there is anybody here that does not want this couple to be joined together he or she should speak out now.'' A man from the extreme of the church stood up and walked toward the altar. As the bride saw the man coming closer, she fainted. The groom and the whole congregation were in confusion. When the man got to the front, the pastor asked; "Why don’t you want these people to be joined together?" MAN: "I could not hear your voice clearly from the back sir, so I decided to come up to tell you that the speaker is faulty." Immediately the bride woke up. Warning: Do not die before the real death.